Blue or Pink?!

Disclaimer : Pre-conception and pre-natal gender screening or testing is illegal in India. This post is just a fun take on old wives' tales. 

From the time I knew I was pregnant, I was curious to know the gender of the child in my womb for two reasons - one to pick a suitable name and the other to buy outfits. 

Getting to know the gender during my pregnancy was impossible. So we started predicting based on old wives' tales and came close to believing that we were going to have a boy. 

(Photo by June from Pexels)

Now that we have a daughter, let's see how many of the predictions actually came true …. 😋

1. If you are carrying high, you are having a girl. If you are carrying low, it's a boy - I am not sure about this… I think I carried high. 
   
   
   

2. Presence of acne or other skin blemishes is more in favour of a girl… while a glowing, flawless skin indicate a boy child. - I had glowing skin until the last trimester.. In the third trimester, I had acne occasionally with pigmentation of the neck and face 
   
   
   

3. If you’re feeling cold and icy, it’s a boy! Hot and sweaty? It’s a girl! - Hot and sweaty all the time!! 😂
   
   
   

4. An old wives’ tale claims that slower heart rate (under 140 bpm) means boy, while heart rate over 140 bpm means girl. - During most of the ultrasound scans and use of fetal doppler, my little one's heart rate was lesser than 140 bpm… only during my last scan, days before my emergency c-section, the heart rate was more than 140 bpm.

5. If you crave for sweet things, you’re having a girl. If you’re craving salty or sour foods, it’s a boy. - I always craved for spicy and sour food throughout my pregnancy ..  Infact, most of my dinners included a bowl of sliced cucumbers and loads of green chillies, topped with a generous amount of lemon juice and low sodium salt. I couldn't resist eating it even when my doctor asked me to stop consuming salty food since I was borderline hypertensive. However, few weeks before my C-section I started craving for pastries and ice creams ….

6. I even tried out the Mayan calendar to predict the baby's gender which revealed that I was going to have a boy child. 

7. Presence of morning sickness means it's a girl - I never had that…. 

8. If your husband puts on weight during the pregnancy, an old wives’ tale says it’s a girl! - Ha!!! My husband did put on weight...Probably because he stopped going to gym and I cooked  awesome food throughout my pregnancy... all thanks to cravings! 😂

9. Swollen legs or ankles? It’s a boy! - My legs were swollen indeed …. But I guess that's seen in most women in the last trimester. 

10. If you're happy all the time, it's a boy… If you're moody, it's a girl - Oh boy! I was extremely moody in my first and last trimester. My husband was the lucky person to face the brunt of it.  😂

11. Some say that maternal instincts can also predict well… - Hmmm! I always felt that I was carrying a boy and often referred to the baby as "he" or "him".
    
    

Most of the old wives' tales didn't turn out to be correct. 😂 4 out of 11 predictions were true.

However, there is one thing that definitely turned out right. Years ago, when I was a teenager, I had a dream which seemed so real. I dreamt of me being in a hospital room… Every single thing in that room was white in color. I had a child in my arm wrapped in white cloth. It was a girl! She was the most prettiest child I had ever seen. The sun rays from the open window lit up her face even more. She seemed so pure. My eyes grew moist while looking at her...I woke up with tears in my eyes and was so disappointed since none of this had actually taken place. Dreams are easily forgotten, but this felt so real that I never forgot it…. 

I know this may sound cliché, but my daughter is my dream come true! 😀

What to expect before, during and after a C-section

The period between the last few weeks of pregnancy and first few months post partum can be stressful for a first time mom. Its very important to be aware of what can possibly happen and what you can do to make things better. 

You will find alot of articles on the Internet about what you should and shouldn't do before and after a C-section. You will even get alot of advices from the people around. 

But, here is a list of things that I feel would be absolutely useful to expecting moms and a couple of things that I wish someone had told me...

Some of the points mentioned below may also be applicable to a vaginal delivery. 

BEFORE

• Pack your maternity bag atleast two months before your due date. Make sure you have all the essentials for yourself and baby. You can also pack for the dad as well! 😉 Read my post on what to pack for the hospital stay.
  
  
• Don't be worried about shaving or waxing the pubic area. It is advised not to shave, 24 hours before a C-section. Also, with the huge baby bump it's impossible to visualise what's going on down there...Besides putting in a lot of effort, you may end up getting a few nicks while shaving! While you are being prepared for the C -section, a nurse or a female ward attendant will clip all the hair over the pelvic and abdominal area...so leave that to the expert! 
  
  
• Maintain a file with copies of your ID card (Aadhar card, in India), hospital card, health insurance (i.e if your insurance has maternity benefits) ultrasound scans, latest serology and blood group reports. Make sure your husband or any other family member knows where you have placed the file at home. Ideally, it's best to keep your file in the maternity bag itself. 
  
  
• Be flexible. Don't try not to be too rigid about how you want your labour to be. It's ok to draft a birth plan... But you have to realise that sometimes things don't turn out the way you want. Disappointments can be avoided if you don't have expectations. Speak to your obstetrician if you have any doubts regarding the procedure.
  
  
• Talk to your obstetrician about the kind of sutures you want. Absorbable subcuticular sutures for closing the skin heals beautifully, with minimal scar. You also don't have to go through the pain of getting the sutures removed, as the absorbable sutures dissolve by itself. 

DURING

Pray. Be calm. Go with the flow. 

AFTER

• Once the anaesthesia wears off, you will be in pain. You may find it difficult to sit up and walk around .. but you must try to mobilize! Ask your husband or a family member for help, if needed. 
  
  

• Spinal headache sometimes occur following spinal anaesthesia. This happens as a result of leakage of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) from the lumbar puncture site, resulting in changes in pressure around the brain and spinal cord. It usually resolves after a couple of days. This was a major issue I had following my C-Section. The head and neck pain was more severe than the pain around the suture site. I continued breastfeeding even though I had a tough time doing so. Remember, the best way to recover from it at the earliest, is to keep yourself hydrated by drinking plenty of water. Caffeine can also help relieve symptoms.
  
  

• Try to breastfeed your baby as early as possible after the C-section. Breastfeeding was new to me as well as to the baby. Neither of us knew how to go about it. Even though the nursing staff were helpful enough to teach and monitor me… it took my baby three days to get a proper latch! Again, don't be disappointed if you don't get it right a couple of times initially.
  
  
  
• Your breasts can leak like an overfilled dam anytime after delivery, as a result of milk letdown reflex. This may cause you some embarassment in front of visitors at the hospital. Wear breast pads and breastfeed often. You can also choose to wear loose, dark coloured outfits to make the leak less obvious.
  
  
  
• The first time you pass urine or stools can be painful. Make sure you don't bolt the door to the toilet from inside. You can call out for help if needed. 
  
  
  
• Swelling of the legs following C-section is not unusual. Mine subsided after 1-2 weeks. You will pee alot after delivery and lose the fluid accumulated. Do keep yourself well hydrated. 

This picture was clicked the next day after my C-section

• Post partum blues is something that you need to be aware of... It's totally normal if you yell, burst out into tears or panic for stupid reasons! "Baby blues" can last for few days or even a week or two after your baby is born. But if your symptoms are severe and continue to persist for months, it could be a sign of postpartum depression which needs treatment. 
  
  
  
• Take care of your C-section wound. Keep the incision site clean and dry. Use a separate towel (not the same towel to wipe your body) to wipe the area dry, after bath. Do not rub or scratch the scar. 
  
  
  
• Wear loose cotton underwear. Special underwears are also available in pharmacies which are meant to be worn following caesarean.
  
  I strongly recommend purchasing NewMom Disposable Fixators and NewMom Disposable Maternity Pads to deal with lochia. These are super comfortable.

• Keep the baby's cot and nappy changing essentials close to your bed. So that it's easy to get things done on your own if you don't have much help at home. 
  
  
  
•  Continue to take your multivitamins, iron and calcium tablets regularly after delivery to meet the increasing nutritional demands during breastfeeding. 
  
  
  
• Try to not listen to unsolicited advices from people around you when it comes to looking after your baby. Don't do things simply to impress others.
  
  
  
• Trust your maternal instincts. Remember not all babies are the same. You know your baby much more than others do.
  
  
  
• Hiring a full time postpartum doula or caretaker is purely optional. I had a tough time convincing my husband that I didn't want a full timer. I felt having a full time post natal doula would interfere with my husband, baby and I bonding together. People often told me that I was doing a big mistake by not hiring one. My husband who finally gave in to my wish, hired a lady who came over to our house just for 2 hours daily for 40 days, to massage, give bath to the newborn and wash her clothes. I didn't opt to get special post natal food cooked and body massages for myself. I felt that was totally unnecessary. I got my post natal nutrition from all the good food I cooked along with with the supplements I took. 
  
  
• Extras😝
• Do not lift heavy weights or perform vigorous exercises/household chores for 6 weeks atleast or until your doctor says so.
  
  
• Avoid sexual intercourse till your doctor gives the green signal. Do not rush into having sex. Keep a lube handy.
  
  
• Inform your doctor if - 
• You develop high fever and intense abdominal pain around the suture site.
• You notice heavy bleeding or passage of large clots. 
• You feel a burning sensation while peeing or notice blood in the urine.

Hope these tips come in handy and help you glide through this whole beautiful process of motherhood smoothly. 

My C-Section Story

My daughter was born via an emergency C-section on 12 February 2020. I was 37 weeks and 5 days when I had her....

I always wanted to have a C-section for the sole reason that it's less traumatic. Having seen a number of deliveries, both vaginal and caesarean, during internship while pursuing my MBBS degree, I made up my mind that I would never go for a vaginal delivery if given a choice. 

Caesarean section was an important essay question in Obstetrics and Gynaecology (OBG). As a medical graduate, I was aware of the pros and cons of the procedure. I had all the theoretical and practical knowledge, but I didn't have an inkling of a mother's POV until I was on the OT table. 

A couple of days before the D-Day, I started experiencing painful contractions that would last for a minute or so. There was nothing to worry as I could appreciate fetal movements and my check up went on great. 

On 11th February, I was at work when I started experiencing a leak... which I thought was probably urine. My obstetrician (who is also a close friend and batchmate of my husband) suggested to get a scan done since I wasn't willing to get myself examined. The ultrasound scan showed adequate amniotic fluid volume. 

Obviously, I was relieved. I wasn't mentally prepared to deliver so soon. I had a number of unfinished tasks that had to be done before the baby arrived... The apartment required cleaning, items required for the baby had to be packed in my hospital bag (I'd already finished packing my stuff, the previous week.. Thank God, I did!), a visit to the beauty parlour was necessary and my maternity photoshoot was scheduled for the evening that day. 😅

My obstetrician asked me to see if I was leaking again and inform her immediately if I did. I am glad she gave me some time before taking me up for C-section. Thanks to her, I managed to get my maternity shoot done atleast! 😂

The next day, I continued to experience a leak and this time it was more than just a dribble. I tried avoiding the speculum examination again... The idea of getting a speculum done has never been fascinating! 🥺

My obstetrician together with my husband tried their best to convince me till I finally agreed. We drove to the hospital around 6.30pm. I had nothing with me other than my medical records. The amniotic leak was confirmed. I had to be posted for a C-section immediately since it had been more than 24 hours that I first experienced the leak. 

The consent forms were signed and my section was scheduled for 7.30 pm.

I was overwhelmed with so many thoughts as I was being prepared for the surgery. I wished my mom was there. She was supposed to fly down to India the next week. 

I got into a gown and waited to be pushed into the theatre. My heart galloped like a horse, the whole time, I was in the pre-operative room.

As mentioned earlier, I have attended several surgeries as well as C-sections during my internship… And it was always exciting! But the feeling of undergoing a surgery is totally different … especially if its your first time! I was scared alright… But I also wanted to be done with the pregnancy and see my baby finally.

I was at ease when I was finally wheeled to the OT and saw familiar faces around me. The two obstetricians and the pediatrician that were present, happen to be my seniors from the medical college I graduated from. My husband had scrubbed in too. 

Following spinal anaesthesia, my body went totally lifeless from waist below in a matter of few minutes. Before I knew it, the section had already began... And the baby was out at 8.04 pm! She weighed 2.7 kgs at birth. 😄

The baby was removed and quickly taken to another room for assessment and cleaning. 

My husband who vowed to be with me in good and bad times, in sickness and health; suddenly disappeared to check out his little princess. 😂

The baby was brought to me while my abdomen was still being sutured. It was truly love at first sight... Obviously, one sided since her eyes were closed! 😂 She was then taken away. 

My section ended and I was shifted to the post-op room. That night, my daughter was looked after by the nurses as our families weren't around. 

I found it difficult to fall asleep that night. Everything seemed surreal. The thought that I finally gave birth to a child was slowly sinking in...

The anaesthesia soon wore off. I could wriggle my toes and move my legs. The excrutiating pain slowly started kicking in. I felt like I was being stabbed in the abdomen over and over again. By the time I got used to the sensation, I passed out in the wee hours of morning. 

Breastfeeding your newborn within the first hour or so, following birth, is important. However, I managed to breastfeed only when I woke up. 

I was shifted to my room at noon and was happy to see my two favourite people there -  my hubby and daughter! And yes... My hubby did manage to get my hospital bag and few essential items required for the baby, from home! 😉

So that was my C-Section story....! In my next post, I will be sharing useful tips on what to expect before, during and after a C-section. 

The 8.5 Months Journey

Pregnancy is a wild ride that lasts for 40 weeks.. 37 weeks and 5 days, in my case! 😉

My husband and I have been dating for 6.5 years until we said "I do" in February 2019. With just few months left for me to turn 32, we knew we shouldn't be waiting any longer as my biological clock was ticking away.

In a country like ours, women are expected to marry and have kids in their 20s. The current scenario is changing with a good number of women choosing to tie the knot much later. I have always wanted to be physically, mentally and financially prepared to have a child. 

After a false alarm (read - negative UPT) in April 2019, I missed my period by a couple of days again, in May. I didn't keep my hopes high. The UPT stick showed a faint line. My husband's classmate, who turned out to be my obstetrician eventually, suggested to get the test repeated after two weeks. 

Two weeks was a long wait… I repeated the test few days later, only to see that the line got darker… 😄 My husband and I were thrilled beyond our wits! 

I was on top of the world...and then fell flat on my face the next minute! Why? The first thing that struck me was that I had to give up on all the fun filled Saturday nights and ALCOHOL..!! 😭 I have always been the kind of person who went crazy with drinks on Saturday nights, dance like a maniac till 4am and wake up to have lunch at 1pm on Sundays. I never really got a chance to have my last booze before turning sober for who-knows-how-long...😭

Anyway .. long story cut short, my pregnancy was confirmed with an ultrasound scan. I was due for 1 March 2020.

My Saturdays changed from having Old Monk / Captain Morgan / DSP Black (P.S Don't judge me by the brands) to having packaged fruit juices. No more coffee! No more pineapples! 🤕 And no more Diet Coke!!!

I thought it would be tough… but giving up all the above was smooth. Infact, the smell of alcohol soon became a huge turn off. 

First trimester is supposed to terrible for most women due to morning sickness. Thankfully, I just had mild gastritis. The worst part of first trimester, however, was my mood swings… My husband was the only soul to face my wrath.. and still is! 😂😂😂 

People say that when you become pregnant, you develop certain cravings and aversions. I craved for spicy/sour food and developed a strong aversion for seafood. I cooked only what I craved for or enjoyed eating. 

Besides alcohol, I also had to give up working with heavy weights at the gym and started doing more cardio. I finally stopped going to the gym in the third month. 🙊

Second trimester was a breeze. My abdomen had just started protuding. I felt my first movement in October, while on a babymoon. 

From a gentle tap to a full blown kick...alot changed when I reached the third trimester. 

I developed borderline diabetes and hypertension. I cut down on sugar intake and switched to low sodium salt which did help alot. 

Third trimester was not so fun. As weeks progressed , I started getting more exhausted at work. I needed more rest and more food. Cooking meals and doing basic household chores became  tiresome. The frequent urge to pee was a nuisance, more so at night. Finding a comfortable position to sleep was another task , especially with the growing tummy. 

I wasn't visibly pregnant to many people until I reached 32-33 weeks. From then, my belly grew in size rapidly. I stopped monitoring my weight since I didn't like the digits displayed on the weighing scale. My clothes stopped fitting me. XLs and XXLs were out of my league. I started shopping at a plus size store as there weren't any good maternity wear options for work. 🤐 

My feet didn't look normal anymore. All my old shoes were packed to make way for new comfortable ones. 

Going to public places like malls, restaurants, pubs, theatres etc became difficult. People often didnt realise that I was pregnant and end up walking into me. I had to be alert all the time, strategically placing my hands in front of my tummy to avoid any casualties… 

Every night, before going to bed, I watched YouTube videos to prepare myself for pregnancy, birth and parenting. All that was good. But believe me, eventually only your motherly instincts and hands-on experience will get you going.

(A picture of myself when I was 36 weeks pregnant)

All through the 8.5 months and beyond, my husband has been my greatest support. I have watched him grow through various stages of being a great friend, affectionate boyfriend, caring husband and now a doting father. 

We managed to get a maternity photoshoot done, a day before my Emergency C-Section. I will leave you guys with a picture from the photoshoot.