I am aware that there are a section of women, and men as well, who believe that it's not right for a mother to leave her newborn/toddler with a stranger, be it a baby sitter or a nanny. I feel that decision should be left entirely upto the mother. I support both, mothers who wish to stay at home to look after their little one(s) and mothers who wish to resume work after maternity leave. It takes alot of effort to look after a child, either ways.
Going back to work wasn't easy for me. There were a lot of fears and uncertainities running through my mind. I didn't have any relative around to look after my little one. I didn't want to suddenly leave my child in the care of a complete stranger either. It was a tough decision to make. But I had to join back for work due to financial commitments.
During the six months of maternity leave, I had ample of time to decide and plan a smooth transition for the baby. There are certain things that I wish I had done better. But given the circumstances that I was in, I think I did well with my first child and I know I can do a hell lot better if I ever plan on having a second child.
Here a couple of tips that helped me out while getting back to work..
1. Introduce bottle feeds
Introduce bottle feeding atleast a couple of months early from the tentative date of resuming work. I started offering one bottle feed per day from 1.5 - 2 months onwards and gradually increased the frequency.
Make sure the bottle is offered by a different caretaker as much as possible, preferably your husband, nanny or another family member at home.
I didn't have much help around. Naturally, I was the one offering the bottle almost everytime. My husband would help occasionally when I was really busy with another task. This turned out to be a big problem later. My daughter suddenly rejected bottle feeds that were offered by my husband and the new nanny while I was at work. I had to come back home daily for lunch, to feed her milk. I tried everything possible to solve the issue. I have changed bottles/nipples, formula brand/ stages and even offered expressed breast milk in a cup. She was adamant to drink milk directly from my breasts. As a result, she was fed only solids during the day while I was at work which eventually led to constipation.
I believe separation anxiety and not being familiar to another person offering bottle feeds were the two main reasons why my daughter showed an aversion to bottles.
2. Stick to a pattern
I am not much of a routine person, but when it came to my baby I made sure that I followed a certain routine before joining back for work.
The frequency of feeds may change occasionally depending on the sleep-wake timings of your baby.
A typical daily schedule of my child used to be like -
9.00 am - Breakfast
11.00 am - Snacks
1.00 pm - Lunch
3.30 pm - Snacks
5.30 pm - Snacks
7.00 pm - Bath
8.00 pm - Dinner
10.00 pm - Sleep
3. Weaning the baby
Although it's recommended to wean the child after six months of age, I chose to wean mine at 4.5 months. The reason for this was mainly because I wanted to be the one to introduce different solids to my child. I was skeptical to rely on a nanny for that. I also wanted the entire weaning process to be slow and not forced onto my baby. By the time my child was six months and it was time for me to join back to work, my little one could eat just about everything and anything. This made it simpler for the nanny as well.
4. Hiring a Nanny / Baby Sitter
Start looking out for a nanny or a baby sitter atleast two months before joining for work. You will find plenty of people for the job. But not all of them are trustworthy. Try hiring a nanny through a registered agency. If that's not possible, do a proper background check. Always ask for a copy of a valid ID proof and a recent photograph before employing.
I changed the nannies twice before zeroing down on the current one. The first nanny didn't last beyond a day... She was really suspicious and made alot of enquiries related to our finances and savings. The second one never allowed my little one to play around for the fear that child may get hurt. After every meal/snack, the nanny would invariably put my child to sleep which I found absolutely unnecessary. She also tried force feeding a couple of times.
You will encounter a couple of wrong nannies before finding the right one. Do not feel disheartened. Never compromise with your child's safety.
5. Invest in home security solutions
Installing a good CCTV camera is essential if you need peace of mind at your workplace. Recent home security solutions allow you to view activities at home through your mobile phone. My husband and I keep checking on the baby and the nanny while at work. With the number of increasing baby abuse incidents, it's important to keep tabs on what's happening at home while you are away at work.
Heading back to work after maternity leave is a major event. Plan accordingly to ensure that you and the baby are well content with the arrangements you have made. Discuss with your partner and family members to see if they have better suggestions.
Even after all these months, my baby still cries occasionally when I leave for work in the mornings. I remember the times when I was small. I would throw a fit when my mom went to work, so much so that I thought my mother was heartless as she never stayed away from work even on days when I cried miserably. I see myself in my child now. She probably thinks I am heartless too. Its a vicious cycle. But life and work must go on.
